can you hear my call ?!

me against my feelings and thoughts. Here sitting on this chair and thinking about what is next or what I have done with my life .. or what is best for me and for people around me . I need to know when exactly I`ll realize what I`ve done. Even if this was the mistake of my life or a good choice ... I need to know. I really need to know ! Is there anybody able to bring order in my head ?! (inspired by Chuck and Blair, season 4, episode 4 ). because 4 is the new (next) five, even if  4 is before five ..